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A Rare Gift: The Story of an Alienating Parent

All of us wonder what goes on in the mind of the alienating parent, because it makes no sense to us. Well, thanks to @Peace_Not_PAS, we have a partial answer: an unaltered interview with a formerly alienating (“reformed”) parent. Read it here.

 

This parent alienated her ex for years, but has come to recognize the damage that caused, and has made effort to remediate it. She speaks about initial motivation to alienate, and opens up about the forces that made alienating her “ex” easier than co-parenting with him.

 

Thank you, the unknown parent, for your courage to share with us. For many, your story confirms that we aren’t just imagining things, and validates the explanations our internal dialogue has been able to conjure up.

 

Unfortunately, you may be too sane to give us real hope. This is because experts and mounting evidence suggest that mental health or personality disorders play a major role in many cases – albeit we don’t know what exact proportion – of #ParentalAlienation. And that role seems to be in making the alienating parents incapable of empathy for the children (let alone for the targeted parents); locked into a “zero sum” scenario where they automatically lose if the targeted parents win even an inch; and unable to take responsibility for the harm they cause.

 

We are not blaming those suffering from mental illness for what it does to them. Nobody should be blamed for mental illness. We merely wish that the systems designed to protect us – and our children – from ourselves steps up the way they are supposed to. In fact, it is the hope of Simply Parent that mental illness that is leading parents to botch their children’s souls in defense of ghosts is brought out of the shadows, named and addressed – with both urgency and dignity befitting any mental illness.

 

In the meantime, thousands will reread your essay and hope that they might be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of merely misguided behavior; that at least a portion of our experience may be an absurd fluke with an expiry date. And for this glint hope, we thank you and hope you will share more. 

 

Read the full interview, published by Peace Not PAS, here.

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